Trip Reports

Notes: 5 / 6 days ago from buddhabrot
sex on LSDMT
buddhabrot:

want.

An interesting report, however, not enough direct and objective information about the experience for the full text to make it here. However, sounds like a very intense story, enjoyable read.
Notes: 3 / 1 week ago

Doc Ellis & the LSD NO-NO: a short animated film about the pitcher’s no hitter while under the influence of LSD.
- Tagged:
- LSD
- trip report
- psychedelic
- acid
- baseball
- Doc Ellis
- no hitter
- sports
Notes: 8 / 2 weeks ago from intrepidwanderer (originally from lastchatwithphontaine)

"‘Turn on’ meant go within to activate your neural and genetic equipment. Become sensitive to the many and various levels of consciousness and the specific triggers that engage them. Drugs were one way to accomplish this end. ‘Tune in’ meant interact harmoniously with the world around you—externalize, materialize, express your new internal perspectives. Drop out suggested an elective, selective, graceful process of detachment from involuntary or unconscious commitments. ‘Drop Out’ meant self-reliance, a discovery of one’s singularity, a commitment to mobility, choice, and change. Unhappily my explanations of this sequence of personal development were often misinterpreted to mean ‘Get stoned and abandon all constructive activity."

- Flashbacks, 1983 - TIMOTHY LEARY (via lastchatwithphontaine) (via intrepidwanderer)
1 month ago

DMT - Amazing Airbulb Invention (Erowid)

Experience level: high, very knowledgable

Set: Positive, ready, curious

Setting: Alone, indoors, controlled environment

Dose: DMT - Unknown - Several vaporized hits of freebase DMT

————————————————————————————————-

(original report here)

I found a light bulb style vapouriser which matched the prescription perfectly at a penny under a £5 from the headshop. Its ease of use has led me to imagine using it to try vapourising some other tryptmines (all in salt form unf.) such as 4-AcO DMT and DPT.

This vapouriser I tested in the kitchen over a hob. I was a little apprehensive because I had been chewing over the sinister tone some of the visions I had experienced. I wondered if that was the thin end of the wedge and that by getting a really big chestfull I was only going to submerge deeper into something sinister that I did not want to see. I could not reconcile this fear with the wonderfull blissful sense of being I was experiencing in the afterglow. I wondered if it was some part of myself that I was genuinely scared to look at. The voice of logic reminded me that whatever happens is over almost as quickly as it begins, and that gave me a sense of strength going in.

The heat melted the light yellow tinted crystals into a colourless pool which gathered in the bottom of the bulb. I watched white vapour uncoiling around the glass as the bulb became opaque. I drew slowly one long potent lungful and as I did so the vapour billowed more furiously. My tongue and lips numbed and my respiratory plumbing stung a little as I filled up. Eyes opened I placed the still billowing bulb down on a cold hob and turned the heat off. As I did this the room tinted yellow sepia, and I shut my eyes looking for a slide show. I was immediately disappointed. Just the womblike state with some extra patterning, but then the warm crescendo of buzzing both audible and physical spread through my neck and shoulders, followed by a very slight crack or snap from somewhere in my auditory canal.

For a short while I was not strictly local. I dont remember events as such, just a sensation of being somewhere in between my kitchen and the dreamworld. Then this absence of self was burst by a small patch of vivid vision. Like the view through a tiny hole in the wall of a darkened room out on to the scene on a bright summer day. I thought I saw a snippet of rows of parked cars, like the US guzzlers of the 50s with their chromed wings, or maybe it was an orderly residential scene. I gasped involuntarily, startled by the many implications of this vision. The stylistic appearance of the scenes were partly culturally familiar, and at the same time slightly skewed. I was startled out of phase with the vision, but I was exhilarated and back in the afterglow where I began giving praise to the universe for what I could only formulate as the privelege of what I had seen.

The question of intentionality came up again in my mind. It felt like I had been shown these things by the big whatever. I gently swayed on the stool and basked in the beautiful concept that the universe was far more bizarre and comedic than I could ever have imagined. I had gasped at the ontological ramification that I might have seen another world or a parallel universe. I felt certain for a few moments inside that I had seen proof that worlds and culture not particularly unlike our own, or sharing certain evolutionary or environmental parameter existed, and there might even be many of them. This was not the kind of revelation that transposes well into conversation so I kept my council to myself. My Mrs does not approve of my little hobby very much, but for all the right reasons, because she cares about me, so I don’t recite her my adventures.

The general effect of all this DMT smoking has been strangely positive. I am conscious of the power of suggestion in potentially shaping the experiences we have. After all I think it was Hume who surmised that we are the sum of our experiences. I felt almost virtuous not to have witnessed entities which could be described as self transforming machine elves, though that is not to say I was in any position to doubt the subjective truth of these descriptions. But I had felt what seemed to me divine pressence, and visualised abstract entities in the wide mind space of closed eyes with a strong light source. And I had witnessed something that had startled me to the core of me being in a deeply satisfying way, although I could not fathom its significance. It could have been many possible or impossible things and called to mind a reality along the lines of Michael Moorcock’s Multiverse.

I also noticed a sense of well being in general life, which I have heard reported, and subsequently may be a result of preconditioning. However this sense seems so tangible and yet natural as to be too good to be true. I found a part of me thinking that everyone should have a blast with this stuff at least once. A cliché, I know. I also imagined the possibility of a worldwide pyramid selling scheme by which an alien race might prepare humanity for contact. This tickled me, since in my newfound openess to the parameters of altered space, such a conspiracy might be impossible to disprove. I felt heightened empathy with even the people I perhaps disliked, and tangible antidepressant effect. Not that I am generally depressive these days. But there is something to this.

I would only complain that my chest has been taking a beating. There is a strange logic that it appears that the more effective a hit I achieve, the less troublesome my chest is. I cough up some chunks in the aftermath, and the taste doesn’t offend me anymore.

My next consignment arrived a week after that final excursion. Excitement boiling over, I prepared myself for more adventures. I was faced with a dilemma. The experience, I felt honestly in my heart, was ‘A Good Thing’ as far as I could see. It seemed to open my mind on a spiritual level which chimed morally with the parts of my Anglican upbringing which I still respect, and the Buddhist ideas I had been reading about recently. It gave me exhilarating journeys and imaginings which I somehow wished I could record or describe, and would be grist to any mind with a soft spot for science fiction. I also sensed somehow the experiences constituted a revealing or an uncovering, due to the perception of continuity between trips. Something might be captured in my memory in one experience and in the next one I might seek to hone in on that image and it might blossom itself into many possibilities. It was an ongoing discourse between me and the drug.

However, it is expensive to obtain and woefully illegal. I can’t see how it can be legal like tobacco or beer. It’s just too powerful. I was pretty scared by what seemed hellish imagery in the early part of my experiences, and it almost seemed to be warning me off. I don’t like to break the law. I only do so in relation to weed and my ‘research’. I don’t speed and I am at peace with myself most of the time morally. I had been reading about Alan Watts, a religious academic and Buddhist who at one point said ‘when you have got the message, hang up the phone’ in relation to psychedelics. I agreed with those words but certain that I had not yet got the message. I certainly wanted to see more.

With this in mind I decided to explore the current two gram I had and order five which I would package and freeze with the other samples for some distant future time when I felt the urge. I had a hunch that this might be just short window of availability, and that the privelege of this opportunity might soon be gone.

I had bought a gas turbo lighter to provide a safe but effective heat source. If for whatever reason you let go of it, it goes out, so that the possibility of dying from burns just as you are on the brink of universal knowledge is avoided. Furthermore it starts the vaporisation very quickly and you can reduce the heat (if your throat is hurting) by increasing the flame distance.

I got comfy on a very soft chair in my converted garage. I had strong spotlights on the ceiling pointed to my head. These help embolden the colours of the closed eye visuals giving garish hues to the visual field. I loaded a 100mg hit and started the flame, beginning to inhale slowly once the vapours rose. I must have managed a long, cool, slow breathful because I was able to calmly hold it in for what seemed like a very long time. I was able to dispose of the bulb and lighter in a civilised fashion and close my eyes expectantly. My self was dissolved again after a short cavalcade of pageantry and carnival, of which I was no longer fearful. But I was again non local, or in dimensional interstices.

To the right of my mind space was a blue mass. A large entity formed of layers of strata, and bejewelled with many crystals along geometric fault lines which folded, twisted and morphed its form in a mechanical fashion, was alongside of me. The blue colour was around the entity, (like an amniotic sack). I moved my mind towards it and I burst into the sack which fell away enough for the entity and myself to make some kind of contact. It was a light green to yellow colour underneath the sack. (Suspension of disbelief obligatory at this point) I sensed a blue sheen spreading over my own body which was rigid but gently juddering with a fine tremor similar to which I have experienced with DPT. I also became aware that I was pulsing and stretching thythmically besides the fine tremor, matching the oscillations of the entity to my right. When I did so in phase with it, the spaces between the strata of its twisting form widened, and the jewels inside showed even more vivid crystal surfaces. It was through these surfaces I again glimpsed the strange world which I had seen that previous time. The more my body matched the entity’s dance the greater one of these crystal windows became, filling my minds eye and almost breaking through into the scene beheld.

A sunny 1950s suburban street, somewhere far across the universe. This phase of physical movement and intense vision was accompanied by a strange sensation of flashes of sudden coldness, which intuition told me was something to do with interacting with the entity. Although I did not fear for my life or any extreme drama, it was enough to distract me and the consciousness of my visitor(s) diminished. I was still in the far off state and spent some minutes swaying and basking in the moments of grace. My eyes remained closed however, though I occasionally flashed a look at the room around which neon sparks flitted.

To integrate this experience, I resolved to wrap up warm for my next attempt, and to follow the dance of the entity if I dared. I had begun to entertain the possibility that the entity might in fact be using my curiousity to lure me into contact. There might be no doorways into other universes, just beings using extensive kitsch simulations of such worlds to lure psychonauts for their own mysterious ends. This might explain the slightly skewed stylistic tone of the visions. I also had to acknowledge there was an almost sexual angle to these encounters, a feature I had noted on several occasions when I had used ‘heroic doses’ of 4 AcO DMT. I also became aware about how much dancing and physical conditions play a part in the shamanic phenomenon.
Using what I had learned I was able to reproduce a very similar experience. The dance lasted perhaps longer, and I persevered the cold spells, so that I got a clearer view into the crystal that I locked onto. I noticed that all the other crystals feature a simillar scene, which might have been slightly different, like cinema film stock, I couldn’t tell, since I could only look closely through one crystal at a time.

The entity itself is hard to describe in great detail. It had something akin to an Inca or Aztec architectural influence, combined with the opulence of a wedding cake, except that it could rotate, twist and shuffle like a rubic cube. In this latter trip, I noticed a neon green amniotic sack along with the original blue one I was familiar with. I did not have a chance during the time available to explore the possibilities with that entity though I sensed it was of a species with the first. As I returned to consensus reality I sent my now habitual prayers out and wished all souls well. I decided to hang up the phone for a while, until I had been able to record and describe some of what I had been able to experience. There was still much I wanted to try. I had still not gone for the infamous ‘third toke’. I had grudgingly come to understand the term ‘self transforming machine elves’ with greater intimacy. I have been amazed by how this drug is so specific and unspecific at the same time. And how difficult the game of memory can be, when the recollection of what occurred evaporates like a dream at wakening.

Because of the similarity I have noticed between the post breakthrough phase of DMT and my experience of a good dose of 4AcO-DMT, I am speculating about using the AcO ester as a springboard into the DMT space. I have not got round to this yet, nor a journey which I am postulating using 5g 10:1 White Caapi extract I have, to permit oral ingestion. At the moment, I am happy to vapourise due to the compact timescale. I am not considering the nasal route or plugging since I have the freebase and both routes are reputedly unpleasant, although I am not too squeamish generally.

This stuff is both humbling and exalting. It shows me how little I really know about the universe and realty, but gives a sense of joy at the small part I play in it. And it seems to do this with its tongue in its cheek, for which it seems a reassuring and hopefull thing to my mind.
All the best - peace and love
1 month ago

Quantum

Dose: Psilocybe cubensis (magic mushrooms), ~3.0 grams, oral. Ketamine Hcl ~100mg, insufflated.

Experience: Mushrooms - Good, not a veteran. Ketamine - Very High, ketamine hard head. Fair experience with psychedelics in general.

Set: Calm, content, ready to party. Care free teenage summer day spent hanging out with girlfriend outside, so feeling quite level. 5’11”, 150lbs, good health.

Setting: Small country town USA, warm summer, closing in on sunset. With girlfriend of 2 years, who has never done ketamine and mushrooms only once before. Large house to ourselves with large bushes lining a very large back yard.

———————————————————————————————————-

T -1:00 After a day of explaining what Special K was to my girlfriend, I convinced her to top off our planned evening of mushrooms with a beginner’s dose. I am quite an avid researcher, and try to have a good understanding of a psychoactive drug’s physiological effects on the body and psychological effects on the mind. Thus, I am typically quite good at introducing others to these little cognitive tools. L agrees, and I begin sifting through my mushrooms to break out a dose for the two of us. I also have 1 freshly cooked liq of K, which I had cut up into 100g doses and thrown into some containers.

T 0:00 We consume our shrooms, around 3-3.2g each, and throw on some music to relax and make an honest attempt to forget about the taste of earth in our mouths. Shpongle plays while we lay around on some comfy surfaces and just ponder recent events in life. The afternoon is coming to a close, and the angular sunlight colors the room in orange hues.

T + 0:30 I am certainly off-base. We get a bit antzy and decide we need to get out of the room we’re in. I suggest sitting on the back porch with the 3 dogs. Domesticated animals are excellent companions for trippers, especially cats and dogs (I swear, they just know when youre tripping!). I also figured the bright colors of the sunny afternoon would be a great source of visual stimulation as the experience kicks off. We gather some water and head out to sit on a picnic table.

T + 1:00 I am most certainly into my trip at this point. I have felt the rush and transition from normal cognitive brainflow into repetitive circular thoughts, enhanced sensory perception, and loss of relevancy to the current time and place. My GF is feeling especially odd, states her body feels alien and weird, like it isnt her body. I am feeling the wobbles - the strange flux between better overall motor control control and then feeling very discombobulated in the same minute. The sun is beaming down all around us, I can feel the very photons striking my skin, performing their various particle interactions with my body, energizing me, filling me with life. We both begin to get quiet as the mental processing overtakes us.

T + 2:00 After playing with the dogs and whatnot I found myself in the grass. The sensation of thousands of little blades of grass felt amazing on my skin. It felt like I was running my hands through this immense response to the Sun’s energy slamming into Earth, it felt like I was holding whatever essence life is in my hands. Between the clear blue sky, bright sun, perfectly green grass, and the dogs frolicking around me, I felt like I had wandered out of reality and into some bizzaro-world hybrid of The Sound of Music and Woodstock. This trip wasnt very forceful, as I typically find mushrooms to be. Instead it was much more relaxing, gradual, and peaceful, and I believe I owe this to the serenity of the setting.

T+ 3:00 I had wanted to mix Ketamine with a strong Tryptamine for so long, and now I was getting nervous. The mushroom trip wasnt overwhelming, Ive personally experienced far higher doses than 3g, but I wasnt sure how deep the sensory depravation from K was going to take me. How would my mind, in such a powerful psychedelic headspace which focuses strongly on the interpretation of sensory info, react to having that sensory info taken away? I knew at least that my mind would be making up quite a lot of information.

I led my gf inside, she seemed to be in the same radiant mood as myself, with the crazed ear-to-ear smile and childish-flippant attitude about where to place one’s body comfortably. We found our way into a room with a large bed and couch. I eyeballed her around 25-30mg (im pretty darned good at that), and aided her in employing her insufflation tools. It burned her more than she expected, so I made sure to speak calmly to her, ensuring her that the pain will subside as the K (which is a salt!) is a tranquilizer. Her head tilted back, and she began murmuring the lines to the lucid dream she began having. She mentioned some things about being in Arkansas (she has never been there, we were on the East Coast at the time). She mentioned some things about palm trees and oranges, and a few other crazy talks that diddnt make sense. I made sure she was in a very comfy position (so she wouldnt come out of that with cramps after laying awkwardly) and figured it was my turn.

T + 4:00? I cut up between 80-100mg for myself (im quite skilled at eyeballing a ‘teen). Im very experienced with K on its own, so I know what to expect as far as physical pain, and I can also expect the mushrooms to drastically magnify the pain. I was wrong, wrong in that I underestimated. It was some of the most excruciatingly painful pain ive ever felt, much like someone dipped the projectile for a nail gun into lyme and then shot it up my nostril. I believe Sublime was on the radio, its that track where it sounds like a guy walking through a keg party. I began thinking I was at some sort of social gathering, and forgot about the intense pain. I knew I had about 10 seconds to make it to a comfy spot… before… I… K holed…

My last real conscious thought was about how I had to choose to most uncomfortable pillow to lay on. It had some weird design sewed into it such that it served as a decorative ornament, not a pillow for comfort. I could feel beads or stitches or something grinding into my face, but had lost all motor control to move myself away from it.

Moments later, I was shrinking. I dont know why, how, or where that came from, but I was shrinking. Faster and faster. I could tell the pillow was much larger than my body. Soon I knew the couch I was on was a vast distance above me, as I was smaller than the size of dust particles. Smaller, and smaller, the universe around me expanded and I could see finer details than I had ever noticed - the microscopic surface detail of wood, the weight of air molecules blasting around me, the feeling of inescapable gravity dominating the whole scene. I was falling as I was shrinking. It wasnt scary, more like bizarre.

Soon I was small enough that I could recognize small spheres around me, under me. I had no body, I was merely a conscious existence observing a massive (or tiny? I cant tell!) universe around me. These small spheres were vibrating, and I had a little thought that they must be molecules. Eventually I recognized atoms, and could feel the energy of their rotating particles swarming around me. The atoms gave way to subatomic particles. These gave way to further particles. It seemed endless, I was still shrinking and falling and there was an endless stream of smaller and smaller particles.

Finally, I was in a void. Nothing. Emptiness. It was all things and no things at once. I had returned to the real primordial origins of the universe, where everything was nothing and nothing was everything. This concept made perfect sense to me, and I was easy to accept my fate as eternal observer of the great nothing that was everything. I had a vision. Its hard to describe, there were no voices, no narration, no real physical objects, yet I know I was seeing something. It was energy itself, frozen, still, endless, and boundless. In our perception of reality and time, we dont observe energy as some physical form, only as an exchange of events over time. In this timeless, empty void, energy was a physical form that could be observed. It was a coil, perhaps even a helix. It was an endless vast helix which contained all energy that every existed, and all energy that ever would exist. It contained within a message for me, one I would never forget.

This coil relayed its purpose: it was order. Within order, was chaos. One half of the helix was an energy which represented order. The other half represented chaos. Wherever order grew and expanded, chaos would immediately follow suit to balance it out. The ultimate message is thus: there really is no such thing as chaos, for since chaos follows order wherever it may or may not appear, it is thus following an ‘orderly’ pattern. The whole helix itself was order. Chaos can not exist without order, but order can exist without chaos. This represents the philosophy of Right Action: good AND evil only exist relative to each other, but good can exist without evil. Where good goes, evil follows it in order to corrupt and displace good, however, this is such a predictable and mandated motion that it becomes impossible to usurp good. Good exists without evil as it is the simplest form, existence itself. Evil requires many constraints relative to good. Evil needs good to exist. However, the whole helix represents ‘Right Action,’ so this makes the triumph of evil impossible.

My senses began to come back. My girlfriend had been speaking to me as I was in this catatonic state. Her dose diddnt move her so deeply into K-space, so she was able to play and manipulate her environment as she experienced both drugs. I slowly came back to reality over an interval of 10 minutes to find a green glow-stick had been broken open over me and I was a strong phosphorescent tone, covered in glowing green goo.

T + 6:00? The K lasted about 45 minutes, but the intensity of the combo lasted hours. It took some time to come back to baseline, and I have no real memory of the rest of the trip. It was awesome, intense, and terrifyingly beautiful. Mixing K with any psychedelic is sure to be an extremely powerful experience, and is not recommended for the feint of heart.
Notes: 3 / 2 months ago from theministryoftruth
blotterbarn
theministryoftruth:

Mark McCloud’s collection, also known as the “Institute of Illegal Images” is the most comprehensive collection of decorated LSD blotter paper in the world. As such, the collection has been the target of two criminal trials where McCloud was forced to defend not only the collection, but also his own liberty. The story behind these events is best told by journalists:
Notes: 13 / 2 months ago from poortaste (originally from suprachiasmatic)

poortaste:(via suprachiasmatic)
Notes: 1 / 2 months ago

T-7: My First Kiss

Dose: 2C-T-7, suspected ~ 14mg (quantity unknown), Oral ingestion. Cannabis as kief, several (8?) hits, smoked.

Experience: Psychedelics - High, (Psy) Phenethylamines - Low, 2C-T-7 - None. Highly knowledgeable of psychoactives in general.

Set: Positive, relaxed, well planned, curious. Im in very good physical health, 5’11” and 150lbs.

Setting: Summer, night time, ivy league university campus. Good company, trip sitter present. Both indoors and outdoors.

———————————————————————————————-

At the time of this report, I was moderately experienced with psychoactive drugs, having experienced opiates, stimulants, depressants, tranquilizers, cannabis, etc. I had a great wealth of experience with psychedelic mushrooms, a few samplings of LSD, small experience with ketamine, and also a few experiences with AMT and 5-MeO-DiPT. Since then my experience level with psychedelic drugs has grown by a few orders of magnitude, as has my general knowledge of psycho-pharmacology. After hundreds upon hundreds of visitations to a deep psychedelic headspace, I can still say this singular experience on T-7 was one of the best Ive ever had.

T + 0.00
I had aquired 2 doses of 2C-T-7, a rather rare compound in this era, from a friend Ia. I suspected I was purchasing a (then) grey-market tryptamine such as AMT, given the size of the powder int he gelcaps, and my knowldge of doses in the 2C-X family. Perhaps it couldve even been inert material. Whatever the case, I decided to purchase a few gelcaps of this powder because T-7 was nearly impossible to get ahold of (Ia and his roomate are earning their MS in chem eng). Just to humor him, I was gonna play along. I diddnt test it or anything, but it tasted alot like pheneth. bitterness mixed with aspirin.

I consume one, and my friend L consumes one, and we both go to L’s dorm room to smoke Kief and watch radiohead videos. We thought Ia and N were bullshitting us, because I licked the powder in the gelcap and it had a strong aspirin taste. It was obviously something cut with aspirin, and I doubted it was even psychoactive. Hah! The blindness of the cynical is as blatant to me now as this body I have come to inhabit.

T + 1.00 hours
An hour passes, and im totally blazed from the Kief in L’s room, with J, L, P, O, V, and random dood I diddnt know. The kief was also taken from a 3rd generation G-13 x Skunk #1 harvest! We throw on random songs, listen, look at magazines, talk, etc. More time passes. L packed a bowl for me, and I smoked a personal of Kief to my head. I ask L if he feels different, other than marijuana high. He says “nope.” The kief he has is really strong and Im really enjoying the music and talking with my friends. Im feeling increasingly high but thats it.

T + 1.50 Hours
Things continue the same, but something is weird. I have no recollection of consuming any capsule of any sort, and think I am extremely high. A friend of ours is gay and very drunk, (and very f.o.b.) and starts hitting on me. Normally I find him humorous but Im exceptionally uncomfortable, for reasons I cant explain. Everything in the room is starting to become very cramped, unwelcoming. Other people talk to me and I cant think, I cant form a sentence to convey my thoughts. My thoughts begin to go really wacky, uncomfortably out of control. I have very high anxiety.

The screen saver L has on is blobbing all over the place, and is making me feel like my body is doing the same. I am watching the colors bleed out from the screen saver onto the wall behind it. It looks as though I could touch it, but would be very sticky and hard to remove from my fingers. I have a strong feeling of light-bodiedness, very light body load that makes me feel as though I am almost weightless.

T + 1.75 hours.
The white wall behind the monitor forms colored pixels, and tiny little revolving squares that turn this way and that. I think “damn im high from that kief!” and dont even realize that the T-7 is kicking my mind’s ass. J throws on the weirdest song ever, by Radiohead. The entire song is played backwards, but I did not know it. Instead I honestly thought I was hearing it backwards, and that the song wasnt really like that. This song was driving me insane, it was really pissing me off and I couldnt wait for it to be over! It seemed to take a century. I could feel my whole body reacting to the song, reeling in frustration at the incomprehension of backward music. I felt like the whole world was one gigantic disorder of confusion.

I began to think, “damn im really fucked up.” I only smoked 1 bowl of kief (personally) and this is way deeper than that. My thoughts were blasting through space as thought time itself were being completely dissolved, but very, very slowly.

I remembered the pill then. I thought I had consumed some dangerous concoction of deadly poisons that was slowly killing me. I could feel my body being pulled upward. My heart felt as though it was going to jump out of my chest. I looked down, and my heart literally fluttered up out of my chest. It came out of me, and was shaped like a mathematical cardioid, or a Valentine’s day heart. It was also very digital and pixelated. It moved away from me on a flat plane, much like the text in the Star Wars intro. Slowly it dissolved into tiny millions of little red and orange squares and flew away from my body as it disintegrated. They looked like individual pixels of my heart. Had everyone else in the room been on the same level, I woulda laughed and thought nothing of it. L just seemed to be staring off stoned, so I diddnt think he was altered at all. So then, I thought that I and only I existed in this mindstate, and that my body surely wouldnt survive it.

Ive done very humbling doses of shrooms before, AMT, Ketamine, and Salvinorin extract. That was pretty much the extent of my ‘hard’ psychedelic experience. I thought that I wasnt hallucinating, so I wasnt too bad of an altered state, so I can think my way out of this hellhole quite easily. I stood up, said, “guys im headin home. Im sober, those pills were bunk and I am goin to chill, peace.” I dont think anyone could tell the state I was in.

T+ 2 hours:

J and P said they were all gonna go drink. I left the room and walked around campus. It was so beautiful. The rain was very, very very lightly falling. It was so light, that it seemed like snow. I thought tiny little snowflakes were all over the place. The grass looked like such a cool shade of green I wanted to laugh. Cars parked seemed to give off this vibe of badass-ness and power. I just walked around having the most profound and exciting thoughts. I was feeling calm, serene, yet energized and filled with some charged force. It felt beautiful, amazing, much like the feeling of your first childhood crush. It was like a warm sense of envigorating affection all around me, being out in the open. I began to attribute my prior anxiety to the amount of stimulation occuring in a small room filled with people.

I saw birds (in the middle of the night) flying. I stared at the sky. I never imagined how vast and huge the night sky was. The clouds seemed to dwarf this little town. I stared into the sky and saw this huge neon blue and green streak, and for a moment I could have sworn I saw a UFO. I was in a moment of such happiness and peace I could hardly take it. My bodily pains were replaced with a smooth, flowing, warm sensation that stretched from my head to my toes. I could hear the sweetest and most dramatic music, but none was really playing. I felt like the night life, the trees and grass and rain, were all loving me, and hugging me, and thanking me for striving through this time of great suffering (I am currently a victim of this stupid and rediculous war on plants, aka “drug war”). The whole planet was celebrating. The energy shooting from my toes to head and back was intense, it was like ecstasy, but more power charged than pleasureful. The energies around me reminded me that Humans’ misunderstanding with nature’s gifts is merely a temporal incident, and soon our race would return to using these gifts for good.

T + 3-5.5 hours
I remembered L was drinking with the rest of the doods, so I flipped. I ran to one of those payphones outside of a dorm and frantically dialed what I thought was P’s number. Someone else answered. WRONG NUMBER! Im sure I sounded like some maniacal fiend to the recipient.

I thought L was going to drink and get sick, or worse, and itd be ALL MY FAULT. I forgot to warn him not to drink alcohol (we went through not to mix drugs just in case of contraindication, T-7 has a history of contraindications). I thought he was going to drink some beers and get kidney failure or something. I knew all but 1 digit to P’s number, and tried them all till I got it. Alot of people musta gotten wrong numbers! I finally reached P, told him to give the phone to L. L said he was so fucked up, he wouldnt even dream of drinking a beer. They were playin multiplayer halo and he was off his rocka’. I was so happy that I reached him. I felt a great sense of security. The rest of the evening was wonderous. This really was one of the best trips I ever have had.

I cant describe in words what I saw, but the rough moments going into this experience were completely replaced with such beauty. I could never have thought my mind could conjure up such shockingly strange, yet warmingly wonderful images. Ideas, sounds, tastes, smells, all had mental images that pleased me. I thought this must be what mescaline must be like, Ive never had a psychedelic experience this heavenly.

I was thinking of different depths of the ocean and the animals that inhabit them.
I was also thinking that we dont even realize, but our air is like an ocean. Just as water displaces itself throughout the ocean in great currents and waves, so does air. I could feel the particles of air pushing against my body (the breeze was warm and sweet) like it were a giant body of liquid flowing over and around me. We dont even realize it, but were just clumps of matter inside bigger clumps of matter. The vastness of space is astounding. The air was like our ocean, we swim through it every day, breathe it in, breathe it out, push it and pull it. Its like I always knew this, but never payed attention to it. That seems to be a fundamental rule with tripping - discovering things youve always known, but have never given any attention.

T + 6.00 hours
The visions I was having were beginning to subside, and I was just thinking extremely complex, far out, and pure goofy thoughts. I couldnt get over how goofy I was. I felt like a little child playing with legos, creating worlds of his own in his mind. My thoughts were as colorful and creative as legos, building up to a level of content I had never felt. It just seemed like, everything was made perfect. I had walked through a dream, and achieved a perfect form. I had also noticed colors my eyes had never been able to see before. It wasnt a hallucination, but new shades to everyday, average colors I had been previously blind to. The road reflected the lights in such brilliant shades of gold, copper, maroon, and black (shades of black!) that I felt like I was walking through a game of candyland. There was no fear here, no danger. It was perfect.

T + 8 Hours.
Still under the influence, but able to operate computer and stereo, etc. Here I sit writing these thoughts down. It seems eons ago I was out walking on a street, thinking those thoughts first hand.

In this mindstate (psychedelia), I was used to being in a state of awe and fear (respect) of some great understanding, like I had grown accustomed to on shrooms. This was so completely different. It was very inviting, very calm, and very passive. The wonderous phantasmagoria and fearsome understanding of perfection I achieve through mushrooms was so, so different from this. It was like this extreme force of hope and safety covering me with a feeling of joy, and giving one hell of a fireworks display.
This was quite an unexpected evening. I had no idea what I was in for, but I loved every minuscule moment of it. It was like a first kiss.
3 months ago

Breakthrough on Bicycle Day (Erowid)

Experience Level: Good, Knowledgabe

Set: Positive (read full article for set background here)

Setting: Indoors, controlled environment.

Dose: LSD - 2 hits (1 hit @ T-0:00, 1 hit @ T+1:00)

—————————————————————————————-
This was our bicycle day: A day to discover the true power of LSD.

11:55 AM: C & I take 1 tab each and hold them under our tongues. There is a bit of a chemical taste. It is not like the sickly-bitter taste of a DOx blotter, it is the metallic taste of a significant dose of lysergic acid. It washes away with a sip of water.

12:05 PM: I put on an album of relaxing music. C shows me a necklace he recently got: A silver serotonin molecule! Something I’ve seen many times before in pictures but never yet laid eyes on in person. It’s beautiful.

12:30: We are very talkative. I show him a diagram of the LSD molecule online and discuss the differences between lysergides and tryptamines. Then the conversation drifts and we talk about the Dreamachines invented by Brian Gysin. I’d like to build one as a decoration for my home. C talks about how primitive stroboscopic light experiments like Gysins influenced more sophisticated light-flicker therapies that came later on.

12:40: We’re still only feeling the faintest of effects. There’s a little bit of chest tension, and we’re feeling anxious, as though something big might happen soon. There is also a noticeable body high. But definitely no visuals.

12:50: We had agreed that if we weren’t overwhelmed by around the one hour point, we would consider a second dose. Perhaps I didn’t give as much thought as I should have to the unusual potency of these blotters, and the possibility they might take more than an hour to sink it. I go to my sheet and cut two more squares off with a pair of scissors. Soon we are tasting the chemical again while music plays behind us.

1:00: C is seeing rippling patterns with his eyes closed. I feel tenseness under my skin and a connection between my state of being and C’s. I feel that the same energy is rippling through us both, what is behind his eyes and under my skin is the same force. Nobody else can understand my state except for him.

1:05: C puts his iPod on to listen to his own music. I turn mine off, finding that I prefer the silence.

1:15: C is getting sucked into his own world now. He finds it’s easier not to talk. I cannot find a neutral state and I cannot ignore the fact that something enormous is starting to happen. Silence is very powerful.

1:20: C is completely swept away. So am I. It is difficult to speak.

1:30: There are still more closed than open-eye visuals. But the raw sensation of the drug is becoming intense. Our faces are flushed, and there are feelings of pressure against our skin. I see a flash of emotion appear in C’s face. I ask him, “What are you feeling?” He says, “Euphoria. I wasn’t expecting it, but… it’s really strong.” His face twists into a strange smile. So does mine.

1:35: I am stricken by a wave of anxiety mixed with mild nausea. The euphoria is deepening… the substance seems to sink into every atom of my flesh. It is getting difficult to manage.

1:40: I wander into the bathroom and throw up. I feel better afterwards. I brush my teeth and wander back out to the study.

1:45: I play a song. In the chorus, the artist sings, ‘And I puuuuuuuuuush your body out into space…’ I close my eyes, and there I am: Floating in a great black void. The singer’s words propel me as he continues: ‘Let it go, watch it drift awaaaaaaaaaay…’ and away I drift. Living the song, floating in space.

1:50: The song ends. I open my eyes and look at C. He looks very peaceful.

1:55: The substance is rising in intensity. It’s not peaceful anymore. I am dumbfounded. C looks panicked. We are both starting to get dizzy.

2:00: I look into C’s wide-open eyes. He is becoming overwhelmed. He looks at me. ‘Oh Fuck…’ he says. It is beginning to dawn on him just how powerful this thing is that he will be inundated with for the next ten hours.

I respond to his outburst: ‘Yes, I know. The world’s not the same as it was yesterday, is it?’

In a hushed whisper, C replies “…no, it’s not.”

“The only thing that bothers me is that I can’t define it. I can’t explain what’s changed about the world. But everything’s changed. It’s just too much to put into words!”

When we close our eyes, we are met with kaleidoscopic swirls, abstract patterns, and bizarre flowing textures. C saw something that looked like fishnet stockings with eyeballs emerging from them.

2:15: C looks like he might fall over. He tells me he needs to lay down. He asks me to get him a blanket, so I run into the other room and grab my familiar black, red and blue quilt. C covers himself, saying ‘I think I just need to go with this.’ He closes his eyes, pulls the blanket over his head, turns on his music player and slips away into his own universe…

2:30: The substance peaks, and we are both awestruck. A great and terrifying realization is dawning on us. It feels like we are waking up to a greater truth. A truth that is extremely difficult to accept.

…there are no timelines after this. There was no measurable time to make them out of. Only an eternity of awe. Awe, in a word, was the predominant effect of this drug. Why was a mature, intelligent graduate student grimly curled into a ball on the couch as hours slipped by? Awe. Why did I stare away for those same hours, never daring to say a word? I was in awe! There was a problem with communication from this point on. I wanted to define the event that was unfolding, as if to assign limits to its limitlessness. But most of my attempts at articulation got muddled. It seemed like I was caught in an infinite riddle that threatened to destroy my thoughts as soon as they formed.

Sometime after four, we broke our silence. Talking seemed a little awkward, almost forced. Each of us understood what the other was going through, but neither of us could really express it. C told me he understands how a substance like this is not addictive… because it is euphoric, but also very difficult. We talked about the pleasure, how it had gone so far overboard that it was difficult to endure. The chemical-induced joy was unlike anything we had ever felt before. We vacillated between wanting to embrace it, and hoping it would just end. C had on-and-off discomfort in his lower digestive track and frequently needed to urinate. He never got nauseous, though. He lost himself for hours at a time just listening to music in the darkness. Later he told me he felt extreme empathy and connection for all kinds of music. With every song he played, it felt like he was right on stage, hearing the band live. With every word and sentence that the singers spoke, he felt like he could understand *exactly* what they meant, on a deeper level than ever before.

We listened to a lot of music. Sometimes together, other times each on our own. It was always a delicate matter. The impact of the songs chosen was enormous, so there was no room for anything agitating. At one point I pulled C out from under his blanket and asked him what kind of music he was listening to. He explained that it wasn’t really music, but a lifeline to keep him connected to reality. I agreed. I went back to my own playlist, and picked my lifelines very carefully.

At about Five my girlfriend got back home. She will soon be quitting this awful job that’s got her working on the weekends, but they had called her in to do something from noon to five. I left the study to say hello to her. C was still in the other room, laying under his blanket in a state of rapture. She knew that C and I would be taking acid today but she had no idea what kind of an experience we were emerged in. “Your pupils are dilated,” she said innocently. “It’s an intense day,” I explained. I took her by the arm and walked over to the couch to sit down. I had her tell me how her day had been for a few minutes, not wanting to comment on mine at such a critical time. There was a separation between us. C and I were locked into something that she could not begin to understand. It was difficult to connect with someone who was not drenched in the same energies as me, surviving the same situation.

Before I walked back out into the study, I stopped to look at the painting on our living room wall… not a print, but an actual painting from a little-known artist. It is a portrait of a French woman on a bicycle, with her arms in the air. The bicycle is perched upon the moon, and a dark blue sky is cast behind them. The blue crept with depth and emotion, the woman’s face looking uncannily real. I could empathize with the character, feeling for all her rippling details. Maybe the lady who jumps with joy while lost in outer space could understand a situation like mine.

For the first half of our LSD experience, the mere concept of eating was unthinkable. Food became just a series of interestingly textured objects: strange things to be stared at but not consumed. We stayed well-hydrated all day, me drinking an endless stream of sodas while C stuck to bottled water. It was well past six when we finally managed to drag ourselves into the kitchen and swallow something solid. I had a couple of toaster pastries and a pork dish, and C baked a barbecued chicken pizza. He ate two slices of it while I went through half a bowl of pork… both of us talking about how good the food tasted and how glad we were to be able to eat again. Then C put the remainder of a pizza slice down, proclaiming “Jesus, now I’m not hungry anymore!” A mutual wave of physical intensity had pushed to the surface in both of us. I started to feel uncomfortable about the meat I had just eaten and could not finish my meal.

The concept of time became tougher to comprehend as the substance droned on in never-ending waves. How many times did we lose ourselves in a dream for an hour or three, sitting in music or silence, waiting for the energy to pass? Was it at Nine when we first started thinking the symptoms might be fading away, only to feel the energy rise back to the surface again at Nine-Thirty? It died down the same way it came on: In a complex series of layers that unfolded gradually. It seemed to be gone many times only to rise back to the surface, but each time it was resurrected one shade weaker than before. Was it the sixth time that it left when it finally stayed away? The ninth time? The fourteenth? Who could say. I was still affected by it even at midnight. C said he still had effects fourteen hours after dosing.

So how did this end? C went home a little past 11:00. His girlfriend drove by and picked him up. He left looking almost as shocked as he had looked at 2:30, and he told me it would take several days to completely process this. Afterwards, I recouped with my girlfriend. At first I couldn’t talk directly about what had just transpired. I just wanted her to hold me close. Eventually I broke in by asking her, ‘What do you think a spiritual experience is? What do those two words, ‘spiritual experience’, mean to you… how would you describe it? How do you define it?’

I had her tell me specific examples of times in her life when she felt that she had undergone spiritual growth, or felt a closeness with God. I asked her what the spirit meant to her. And finally, I explained that I had just had a spiritual experience of my own. I compared it to the times in my life when something had happened that forced me to change and grow. The times when something great or terrible occurred that shocked me so utterly, that I could not even function for days afterwards. It’s after a shock that we discover who we really are. I cried. I told my girlfriend how gracious I was to be alive. How thankful I was for yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

The awed silence that C and I experienced, coupled with that penultimate sensation of throbbing bone-deep euphoria to the point of bitter frustration, this was comparable not only to a shocking experience that induces spiritual growth. It was also comparable to being in the direct presence of a higher power. Imagine the feeling of waiting your entire life to ask God a few important questions. Then one day he appears before you, and he is so strange, so powerful and so beautiful, that you can’t even dare to open your mouth. You can only stare in awe, knowing that the answers do not matter. That is a lot like the feeling I got from the energy of lysergic acid coursing through my flesh and blood into my soul. I was in the presence of something so much bigger than myself that I could only bow down in quiet appreciation, hoping not to disgrace the holiness of the moment.

LSD is more than just a psychedelic. It carries the powers of many different classes of drugs in the space of a tiny droplet. I could feel it in my soul, and I will never again doubt that the spirit is real. Lady Delysid… you are boundless!

*note: Bicyle Day is the day that Albert Hoffman, the scientist who discovered LSD, first intentionally ingested himself with LSD-25.

DMT - Amazing Airbulb Invention (Erowid)

Quantum

T-7: My First Kiss

Breakthrough on Bicycle Day (Erowid)

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